Dear grown ass men who frequent the bathroom at my place of employment,

I realize and appreciate the intense difficulty involved in such an endeavor, but could you please learn to properly aim your dicks at the god damn toilet? You’ve been pissing for years, it really shouldn’t be that hard.

Sincerely,

Someone who has to mop up your piss off the floor.

myusshi:

taleasoldastimelords:

I’d like to give my Facebook friend a standing ovation

Cats have more notes than this, come on people. 

myusshi:

taleasoldastimelords:

I’d like to give my Facebook friend a standing ovation

Cats have more notes than this, come on people. 

shutupaubrey:


hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital

shutupaubrey:

hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital

I bought Starbound, and after I landed on my first planet surface, I strode triumphantly off in search of ore and aliens, and was promptly killed by an Avian city guard because I was unaware that they don’t like when you’re holding a weapon. 

I love this game.

dobochan:

dj roomba is literally the greatest thing thats ever happened to me

brailleoperatic:

agoodcartoon:

paxamericana:

then 

 yo can someone agc this tweet for me pretty please?

Despite clinging to the boogeymen of nazis, societs, and terrorists to maintain control, the deeply flawed version of the US that conservative politiciians dream of is finally being dismantled thanks to the Affordable Care Act. A good tweet.

brailleoperatic:

agoodcartoon:

paxamericana:

then 


yo can someone agc this tweet for me pretty please?

Despite clinging to the boogeymen of nazis, societs, and terrorists to maintain control, the deeply flawed version of the US that conservative politiciians dream of is finally being dismantled thanks to the Affordable Care Act. A good tweet.

I have temporarily named my dog Winter the Christmas Dog.

P.S. I don’t really have a dog.

I’m fucking sorry, but did bronies seriously just compare their whiny social issues to 300 years of slavery and oppression?

I’m fucking sorry, but did bronies seriously just compare their whiny social issues to 300 years of slavery and oppression?

There is a man in the army who is actually named MAX FIGHTMASTER. Staff Sergeant Max Fightmaster. That is fucking awesome.

Hello followers, what few of you I have. I am the artist formerly known as CtrlAltEscape. I have fashioned a new handle because I was bored.

Arcane Legends is actually a halfway decent little time waster.

ohmyhelbig:

FINALLY IT IS HERE.

laughingsquid:

Momentum, A Chrome Extension That Replaces the New Tab Page With a To-Do List, Weather, and More